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~alex-sukehiro:iconalex-sukehiro:

*has a bat in her belfry  

  • Status: Member
  • Self-proclaimed Genius
  • Female/United States
  • Invisible
  • Deviant since Aug 2, 2003, 5:09 PM
  • 252 Deviations
  • 8 Scraps [browse]
  • 6,629 Deviation Comments
  • 1,132 Deviant Comments
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by *messa
by =karil
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.Each Man Gives A Story.

Journal Entry: Wed Jul 2, 2008, 4:55 AM
  • Mood: Amused
  • Listening to: Glycerine ~ Bush
  • Playing: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
:butterflytwo: ~ each man gives a story~ :butterflytwo:


Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."




:rofl:




~Tina

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 21
  • Current Residence: Tha South <3
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: 2x - yes, I is a big girl. Get over it. Or better yet, luff it! :D
  • Print preference: Matte
  • Interests: Reading, Writing, Music (of all kinds-both singing and listening), Philosophy,
  • Favourite movie: Remember the Titans, Enough, The Prestige, Batman Begins...anything by M Night Shamalayn...lots...
  • Favourite band or musician: Sting, Imogen Heap, Gackt, Goo Goo Dolls, Phil Collins, Dierks Bentley, Reba...
  • Favourite genre of music: Way too many....Rock, Alternative, JRock, Soft Rock, Country, Techno, Soundtrack....
  • Favourite artist: My friends - alphabetically: Kiki, Luna, Ruka, Sakura. <3
  • Favourite poet or writer: TED DEKkER
  • Operating System: Caffiene
  • MP3 player of choice: {Sansa e270r}
  • Shell of choice: Turtle! ^^
  • Wallpaper of choice: Anything good that catches my eye. ^^
  • Skin of choice: ...uh, mine? What kind of psycho do you take me for?!
  • Favourite game: Kingdom Hearts (I & II), Legend of Zelda (OoT, MM, TP), Final Fantasy VIII
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2 & Gamecube
  • Favourite cartoon character: Batman
  • Personal Quote: "He that slings mud shall surely lose ground." -African Proverb
  • Tools of the Trade: Inspiration, Experiences...Pen, Ink, Word Works...and coffee. Lots of coffee.

deviantART Notice

Devious Comments

=DynamiteBreakdown:iconDynamiteBreakdown: Jun 23, 2008, 8:36:51 AM
Thanks for the fav, Viva la cosplay!

--
:floating:
Maguma: How come every time I come down here there's always a mess?
Alex: Don't blame me for having the element of Earth!
Maguma: UWAAH!! IS that a freaking Giant Earthworm on the Couch?!
Alex: oh yeah, thats Paul.
~BASSETSKETCH:iconBASSETSKETCH: Jun 19, 2008, 11:11:03 AM
thnks for the add!
hope u'll enjoy future updates :D

--
_____________________________
sketchblog
*Fez-Kuro:iconFez-Kuro: Jun 11, 2008, 3:57:27 AM
Yo! Thanks a ton for the watch and fav! (:
~misao-chan719:iconmisao-chan719: Jun 2, 2008, 11:20:40 AM
Thanks for the fav on my Zelda cosplay :D

--
oro?
proud to be Catholic :D
~Yuffiefan:iconYuffiefan: May 21, 2008, 3:19:08 AM
Gah!! ONE DAY =DDDDD

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Can we truely call this existance, without hearts?
~hardcorelikethat:iconhardcorelikethat: May 2, 2008, 9:29:16 PM
thanks so much for everything :)
~LadyoftheShadows003:iconLadyoftheShadows003: May 1, 2008, 8:54:10 PM
OooohhhhEEEmmmmmGEEEEEEEE! A FAVORITE! *spazzez*

But yah, seriously. Thanks. :)

=^__^=**PUUURRRR!

--
"...artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up." V for Vendetta

ここに…私の中心を持ちなさい。
~alex-sukehiro:iconalex-sukehiro: May 1, 2008, 9:01:08 AM
the marvelfans group? Sure! I'll send you a note about it, okay? :D

--
If at first you don't succeed...then skydiving is definitely not for you. :XD:
~rosslee:iconrosslee: Apr 30, 2008, 8:53:29 AM Mood: Joy
I'd like to join your group!

--
"WORK .......is a 4 letter word" by Mozz
~alex-sukehiro:iconalex-sukehiro: Mar 30, 2008, 3:06:58 PM
You are more than welcome!! It was a WONDERFUL picture!!! :highfive:

--
If at first you don't succeed...then skydiving is definitely not for you. :XD:
~SleeplessImmortal:iconSleeplessImmortal: Mar 30, 2008, 3:06:36 PM
Thanks for the :+fav:!

--
"I am... GREAT!" - Captain Morgan
"Let's get WASTED!!!" - Red-Haired Shanks
"Surpass me! Roronoa Zoro!" - Juraquille Mihawk
"Ahem." *clears throat* "OOOoooOOOoooOOO!" - Zoro
"Hello? This is the Shitty Restaurant." - Sanji
~gothicFLAVOURS:icongothicFLAVOURS: Mar 30, 2008, 11:15:52 AM
Thanks for faving my Gambit manip!
~ServantofJesus:iconServantofJesus: Mar 21, 2008, 4:02:40 PM
Hiya Tina, missing you already - hope you're doing alright :hug:

--
Chris†ianity's not a religion like all the others, it's a relationship with the One who created us through His love, even died for us on the cross, taking away our sins; and proving He's God by raising from the dead! [link]
~tofulabyrinth:icontofulabyrinth: Mar 13, 2008, 10:49:07 PM
thanks for the :+fav:

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:rofl:... :confused:
*SakuYukihime-san:iconSakuYukihime-san: Mar 9, 2008, 7:06:00 AM
Hey nice gallery :D
Just stoppin by to say hi!
...
(and for some shameless self-promotion XP)

--
I am a PirateNin! :katana:
:pirate:+:ninja:
~lemon-twist:iconlemon-twist: Mar 1, 2008, 2:01:43 PM
NP (:

--
Why do we kill people
who kill people, to show people that
killing people is wrong
~alex-sukehiro:iconalex-sukehiro: Mar 1, 2008, 11:11:43 AM
Thank you very much! :love: I appreciate it!

Love your quote by the way. :)

--
If you won't stand behind our soldiers...
Feel free to stand in front of them.
Flagged as spam
!amyperticone:iconamyperticone: Mar 1, 2008, 3:11:02 AMFlagged as spam
This comment is flagged as spam.
Wow! You really are a brilliant poet, aren't you?

Why don't you join the poetry contest from [link] ?


It's free and every nitwit such as myself who enters gets a small gift

but someone like you might win one of their $10 000 or $100 000 prizes.
~lemon-twist:iconlemon-twist: Feb 29, 2008, 11:26:20 AM
You got a great looking gallery!

--
Why do we kill people
who kill people, to show people that
killing people is wrong
*Iardacil:iconIardacil: Feb 24, 2008, 10:48:52 AM
I wanted to thank you so much for :+fav: on my "The Eye of the Storm" :D

I am so honored, thanks :blackrose:

--
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams
~xshortxstellax:iconxshortxstellax: Feb 23, 2008, 11:19:13 PM
thanks for the fav!! :D

--
Stella
~wave3:iconwave3: Feb 22, 2008, 7:59:12 PM
Thanks again for the comment and the fav on "Those chains I have once loved." :heart:
~christiangirl4444:iconchristiangirl4444: Dec 15, 2007, 6:09:04 PM
No problem, beautiful gallery! Jesus loves you, and thank you for the lovely comment!

--
~Brittney S. ><>
Psalm 138:7, Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life; You strech out Your hand against the anger of my foes, with Your right hand You save me.
~alex-sukehiro:iconalex-sukehiro: Dec 6, 2007, 6:55:19 PM
You had Frank Peretti at your SCHOOL?!?!?!?!? I'm so jealous! :cries: lol
Him and Ted Dekker are AMAZIIIIIIING. I wanna write like them when I grow up. LOL (ok, so I'm 21...sue me. :XD: )

a YEAR? Wow, has it been that long?? Man, you should really get on more. ;P lol jk. I

--
"But now I've grown beyond the walls to where I've never been
And it's still winter in my wonderland..."
*Jars of Clay :rose:
~alex-sukehiro:iconalex-sukehiro: Dec 6, 2007, 6:53:52 PM
I did get back to you, right? :XD: Sorry, it's been a hectic month. lol

--
"But now I've grown beyond the walls to where I've never been
And it's still winter in my wonderland..."
*Jars of Clay :rose: