* ~ * ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ * Alex's Journal * ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ * ~ *



I'm starting to write exercises from The 3 A.M. Epiphany and it's starting to fuel my writing muse again, which I'm overjoyed about. I really hope those of you reading this read Angel Eyes and liked it! Feel free to leave critiques about it - I post my work because I want to learn.

Also, recently I've started to look at the wake of my life (things I've done in the past that I can reflect on now - actions, grades, consequences, etc) and I'm seeing a lot of regrets. It's starting to sink in that a life of lazy relaxation isn't worth the weight of regret that it leaves you with. So even though I'm 23 and I feel that it's "late" in my life to change because of how hard it will be, it's time for me to start working toward it otherwise I fear I never will. I fear being stuck in this mundane, lukewarm cycle the rest of my life and looking back with the regret that my life accompished nothing more than momentary pleasure.
I only have one life to live...so it's time to start acting that way.

God help me, I need to change and I can't do it on my own.



OKAY! Onto a more cheerful note.

Tonight, me and ~Sakura-Kagurazaka get to go see the midnight release of New Moon. I'm a bit apprehensive because, to me, the last one was just...blah. I read the books first and they were written much better than the screenplay for the movie was. Also, I'm really not fond of the actor/actress that play Edward and Bella. While I think Robert Pattinson has some potential, he's playing Edward as some...emo-pansified-metro-sexual vampire, which is NOT who Edward was - the books described him as a deep, pensive, artful, often over-protective, old-fashioned person...not this "I can't live without you *whine whine whine*" pansy.
And Bella...don't get me started. If rapid blinking and staccato breathing was all it took to be an actress, she'd be at the top of the list. As it is, her expressions are dull and lack any real connection with the audience, unlike the fictional character she portrays (wow...a fictional character acts better than her? That's sad, lol). Her vocal tone is non-existent and she gives no depth to the character past the lines written for her. Very disappointing.
Needless to say, I'm not one of the "OMG EDWARD" tweenies you see trolling Hot Topic stores... I loved the books and I expected way more from the first movie.

So with all this said, why go see New Moon?
Well, the has the potential to be different in that the last director (who shall not be named...) was replaced with Chris Weitz, who I'm hoping will take the movie to new heights.

Either way, you'll know in a few days.

Much love and keep the faith!!

~Tina

* ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ * Alex's Journal * ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ *

A drunken salesman
Your hearing damage
Your mind is restless
They say you’re getting better
But you don’t feel any better

Your speakers are blowing
Your ears are wrecking
Your hearing damage
You wish you felt better
You wish you felt better

You can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes...

~Thom Yorke

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I have felt no real passion to write these past few months. In honest truth, I have been too tired, too worn to feel passion for much of anything beyond sleep.
The last few nights have, however, reawakened the sleeping muse inside of me, if only so that I can somehow deal a little better with something that's happened recently that I can't adequately just...blurt out. Some things just can't be explained.


I'll write more later, but I have to take care of some things now.

~Alex

~ ~ ~ * . A l e x ' s .~. J o u r n a l . * ~ ~ ~


"Link it to the world
Link it to yourself
Stretch it like a birth squeeze,
The love for what you hide
For bitterness inside
Is growing like the new born
When you've seen, seen too much
Too young, young

Soulless is everywhere
Hopeless time to roam
The distance to your home
Fades away to nowhere
How much are you worth?
You can't come down to earth
You're swelling up
You're unstoppable
Cause you've seen
Seen too much
And too young..."

~.Muse

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First of all, I have to apologize to those of you who actually still watch me on here. My writings have been waning both in number and quality lately. I've chalked it up to a lazy muse, but quite frankly, I just haven't been writing like I used to. And, like they say, if you don't use it, you lose it.

So! I've come up with a remedy.

I've found a book called 3A.M. Epiphany that is full of writing exercises that really stretch and flex the writing muscles.
That being said, I'm going to start picking exercises and posting them on here and on another site that I have. If I think they're good enough, I'll post them as a deviation. Otherwise, they'll be put in scraps.
Why am I saying this?

Well, I'd really like your help.
Some of you on this site have really helped me with your balanced and honest critiques - and I appreciate that more than I can say. You guys rock!
For those of you that may hold back - please don't. Even if it's not so much a technical critique, I still want to hear it! If it comes across as weird to you or off-balance somehow, don't assume that it's just "one of those writer things." Feel free to ask me or to poke and prod a bit (no needles, please ).

Anyway, with school and work being full-time, I've been busy like crazy lately. Hopefully I'll find time to write more soon and catch up with the world (HA! That's likely).


Later!


~.Tina

~ ' - ~

"Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance wont come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That its namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'...

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'..."

*~Bob Dylan

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Hey everyone - my apologies for being inactive for so long. Truth be told, for awhile I'd pretty much "lost my muse," so to speak. The only time I seemed to be "inspired" was in dark times when I needed to get things off my chest, and some of those aren't really suited for posting.
Hopefully this new turn in my life will also lead to a new turn in writing. I'd really like to discover and work on some different writing styles, but I haven't decided if style is natural to a writer and something that cannot be changed or if you can alter it somehow (not style as in "Shakespearean sonnet" to "Open lyrical poetry" - not genre, in other words, but style).

Before, I used to feel that only things I felt were really inspiration to me - emotional experiences and such. But truths that inspire are also inspiration and are sometimes more fit to write about in these times where conversation is a rare art and truth is a hard commodity to come by.

Anyway...

Not much else to say, so I'll try to write later.

Hope you all are well!

~Alex

~ ' ~ ~

Emotive unstable,
You're like an unwinding cable car
Listening for voices,
But it's the choices that make us who we are
Go your own way, even seasons have changed
Just burn those new leaves over
So self-absorbed you've seemed to ignore
The prayers that have already come about

This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in...

~*Anberlin

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Hey everyone. I'm sorry I haven't written in awhile - for the longest time, every time I sat down to write something, nothing came out. I went through a pretty dry spell for awhile, but I hope that it's soon ending.

I've started a full-time position at work now, so that's also taking up most of my time lately. I feel rusty at writing, so I might look around the net for a few writing exercises to "get back into shape," as it were.
I have managed to write a few new things in my absence, and I should be posting them soon; I just have to find the time, ahaha.

Life is about to get about 50% more busy than it has been, though - I start school again in August and it's definitely going to be interesting doing that and managing to somehow get full-time work hours to keep up my insurance and all. Can you say sleep-deprived?

I've been thinking about a lot lately as a lot of things in my life have been changing and forcing me to grow up a bit. This year has definitely been a challenge in a few ways; yet in other ways, I still feel like I'm being lazy because of the challenges I face elsewhere. I guess part of me believes that I deserve a space in time where I can drop my guard, but life is an onward, awkward, upward struggle most of the time and, honestly, to drop my guard or to become slack at any point could be fatal, especially in a time of such change and growth. I just need to find some way to stay motivated and keep going.

An important way to accomplish this that I've found is not to dwell in the past. Shake it off and move forward. Others may not like that; some may refuse to grow with you and sometimes it means moving forward on your own so that you don't stay stagnant and stilt your growth. In the end, I believe it's always for the best. If someone else wants to stay stuck in the past and play the victim-mentality card, let them and move on unless God tells you otherwise. Just my opinion.

Anyway, it's late and I have to get to bed - I have to be up early.

G'night everyone!

~*Alex